This week I felt like melting into a puddle of tears and… well, tears. The straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back was when the landlord for our current home told me he has on file that our contract is a year longer than I have on file. A stinking YEAR! Pile that on to existing stress of living in two households (and desiring to be in one, just to clarify), PAYING for two households, hearing my children ask “but why can’t you come to parent night at VBS, mommy? Do you think you could drive home for the night?” Which is an adorably endearing request but in reality looks like this: get off at 3:30, drive 3.5 hours home to be two hours late for a program, watch the last 20 minutes, give kisses and hugs, and turn back around to make the 3.5 hour trip back to my temporary home, get in at midnight, sleep 5 hours, get up for work, work 8 hours, and drive back home 3.5 hours for the weekend. 

I’m exhausted just typing all of that. So no, I won’t be driving home for parent night. All at once the list of decisions I have to make this week, the stress I’m under, and the overwhelmed feelings settled like a fog. And then I even went to my usual quiet place to look for God and He did not show up! Can you imagine? I looked for Him and searched for Him, and He was not where I needed Him to be. (Cause you know, God is like a genie, and I should just rub a lamp and *poof*, there He is, right?) And to add insult to injury, it started pouring down rain, which is not helpful when your “go to” place is outside! I wanted to be angry and give up and throw my hands up in surrender because I needed Him to speak to my heart and tell me He has it all under control, and He didn’t.

Do you ever feel like that?

As I was pulled in to my temporary home-away-from-home, I sat in my car in the parking lot and just poured my heart out to God. Deflated, I left the parking lot and decided to go for a drive. As I turned the corner, this beautiful sunset was peeking over the treetops. It was truly glorious. As soon as I saw it, the golden hues were an instant comfort and I knew that the God who could create such a thing could handle my problems.  (Sometimes we just need a little reminder, ya know?) Several deep (deeeeep) breaths later, I  headed back towards one of the main roads in town.   

In the opposite direction, remnants of the storm were heading out of town. Dark, ominous clouds were releasing a torrent of angry rain drops on the people and cars below. How different the two views were. Literally I could see them both in my peripheral vision, and this same storm had just rolled through not 15 minutes before. It was then, with my car halfway between the two points, that God did speak to my heart to say “When you’re in the storm, that’s all you see. It’s dark, rainy, and you’re being pelted in every direction with no respite. But if you take shelter in Me, like every other storm, this one will pass, and you can see beauty and strength, and peace once it’s gone.”

He’s right. As usual. 

So which one are you? The one thinking that you need to meet God in a specific place, forgetting that He’s already in the midst of the storm with you? Or hands up in surrender, waiting for Him to shelter you from the torrential rain? Or are you rubbing that genie lamp, waiting for Him to show up? Can I share with you that God isn’t confined to a genie lamp! That storm you’re in WILL pass. During the storm? God Himself has told us in Deuteronomy 31:6 that we must “Be strong and courageous. Don’t fear or tremble… because the Lord your God will be the one who keeps on walking with you–he won’t leave you or abandon you.” God Himself has said He will not abandon us. Not before the storm, during the storm, or even after, when everything looks fine. You don’t have to rub a lamp or go to a certain place to meet with Him. He will meet you right where you are. Don’t take my word for it, though. Take the word of the one who made the promise Himself. 

~ Karen